Glover from another mother: Dad jokes hit home for Paul and Jayne

AA Insurance Location, Location, Location NZ, episode 3 recap

This week our house-hunters are not only searching for property at the opposite ends of Tamaki Makaurau, they’re also at opposite ends of the spectrum in their personal property journeys.

Jayne is out south helping one family kick their landlord to touch and purchase their first home, while Paul is helping his empty-nesters downsize to a lock up and leave north of Auckland.

Love not lawns

The Glovers – no relation to our host with the most – are looking to swap square meterage for sanity and make the move from their big two-acre estate to a more easy-care property. Dad joke maestro Mark and doting grandma Trish are after more freedom and flexibility to visit their families overseas, with Mark’s recent prostate cancer scare further cementing their decision to free up their lifestyle and more spend time doing what they love, and not the lawns.

Thirty-four years of happy marriage may come into play as they concede that size matters here – Trish would be happy in a tiny home while Mark still wants his mansion, so this should make things nice and interesting for Paul. They’re after a three-bedroom, two-bathroom, single-level home, close to the beach and with space for Teddy the Labradoodle to run around. They’re working with a budget of $1.2m.

Paul rolls out the jokes as he takes the Glovers on a tour of Auckland's northern fringe. Photo / TVNZ

The first stop is Mangawhai, and Paul confesses he has absolutely no idea where he’s going. The stylish seaside stunner they are here to see has great views and although it’s a little over budget, it’s all charm and sophistication, “just like me”, says Paul. Unfortunately no fencing for Teddy is a spanner in the works.

Jayne comes along for the ride for the next cab off the rank, another near-new coastal getaway in Mangawhai Heads, just a short walk from the beach. Jayne asks the boys to not get lost as they head out to the garden. “I’ll do my best, but maybe you should have a search party on standby,” replies Paul.

The Glovers love the privacy, views and garden, but more importantly, the feel of this house. “It feels like home,” says Mark.

But the overall winner is a wild card in Red Beach wild. “I feel like I’ve taken them from a church service to a rave party,” says Paul, and the Glovers are sold. Unfortunately, they fail to nab the property at the auction, but all is not lost. They subsequently sold their place and buy a brand new home right on Snells Beach.

Boots and all

Former Kiwi Fern Kelly Maipi, her partner Phil and their two sons, Bailey and Jackson, are done paying someone else’s mortgage and are keen to take the leap into their first home around the Weymouth area, where they currently rent. Setting up their family for the future has always been a life goal and while they’re not necessarily looking for their forever dream home, they want to get a foot on the ladder and into the market.

Former Kiwi Fern Kelly Maipi and her partner Phil with Jayne. They are looking to escape their rental. Photo / TVNZ

The family is after a three to four-bedroom house that has two bathrooms – a request from outnumbered Kelly – and is close to parks for training. After a recent Fiji proposal, the family also have another major milestone looming, but Kelly’s face says it all when Phil suggests that if they find a home, they can just get married in the backyard. As he’s in the construction industry, perfectionist Phil isn’t afraid of a do-up and is open to properties with potential. They’re working with a budget of around $850,000.

First up it’s a renovated three-beddy on a quiet cul de sac in Weymouth. While the rooms out the back intrigue the couple, they are a little off-putting in the end. Next, a motorcycle revs loudly in the cul-de-sac outside the solid Weymouth brick and tile and Phil says he does enjoy motorcycles but “in moderation”. They love the layout and wall TV mounting in the bedroom to watch the league on, but are intrigued by what looks to be a handheld bidet in the bathroom.

Kelly and Phil are left puzzled by the bathroom set up. Photo / TVNZ

For property number three, it’s off to Manurewa for another solid brick and tile that’s warm, clean and cosy, plus vacant and in budget. While it was their favourite of the three, the couple thought they’d like to explore saving more and potentially increasing their budget a little. This is exactly what they did and have managed to secure their dream three-bedroom home in Weymouth – the area they love.

Lines of the week

Paul gives Mark’s dad joke reputation a run for its money when he introduces the first Mangawhai property. “What I wanted to show you, is a home, like this,” Paul says.

“Loving the outside garden area,” admires Mark. “And the shape of the roof I like,” continues Trish.

“Good, because that’s not the house I’m actually going to show you,” retorts Paul.

Fashion watch

The two Glover men go head-to-head on blazers but the footage of Kelly proudly wearing the black jersey and representing Aotearoa as part of the Kiwi Ferns team is hard to beat.

- AA Insurance Location, Location, Location NZ appears on TVNZ 1 at 7.30pm on Sundays and on TVNZ+