What to do when the kids leave

For many "empty nesters", this stage of life means a colour change...big time.

Writer Monique Balvert-O’Connor shares her experience with the redecorating dilemmas she and her husband face as their kids prepare to leave home.

“I’m not sure about that colour. It’s a bit out there,” my husband said as the painter applied his first brushstroke to our lounge wall.

I was on the phone, which was just as well, as my hubby couldn’t see my reaction. “If you think that’s bold, wait until you see all the rest,” was what I was thinking as I uttered something reassuring.

That was 18 years ago and the colour described as “a bit out there” was Resene Putty, a light, warm mustard.

As that day of painting progressed, my husband was introduced to colours far bolder. Walls were swathed in the soft velvety red of Resene Merlot and the sumptuous brown/red of Resene Cab Sav.

If that wasn’t ‘out there’ enough, one of our children’s rooms was painted Resene Wasabi, which can best be described as, well, exactly the colour of wasabi. Resene Jigsaw dressed another bedroom and there was a blue bedroom too – Resene Magik, if I remember correctly. If my hubby was expecting beige in our house, he so didn’t get it.

Reclaiming a kid’s room is an excellent opportunity to turn it into an adult-oriented space, like a secondary lounge for entertaining. Wall in Resene Gold Coast, stenciled floor in Resene Pendragon and Resene Hairy Heath, console table in Resene Noir, nesting tables in Resene Hairy Heath (large), Resene Pendragon (medium) and Resene Gold Coast (small) with legs in Resene Noir and vase (with twigs) in Resene Hairy Heath. Project by Melle van Sambeek, image by Bryce Carleton.

Those colour choices were made when our children were little; all these years later, those same colours still adorn our walls. Now, as we prepare to farewell our last child, hubby and I are facing a few decorating decisions.

We’re not ready to downsize but feel the urge to make some changes to our décor. Top of the list is decluttering, replacing curtains and tackling some re-painting projects.

We think, however, some colours will remain. Our plan is to replace nearly all of those bold colours with a warm white – Resene Thorndon Cream is a possibility, as is Resene Albescent White. I’m keen to incorporate one feature wall of Resene wallpaper.

A simple painted headboard defines this teen’s bedroom but painting a piece of furniture with a cool pattern, like this chest of drawers, can add real character to their space. Both can be achieved with masking and can be easily painted over when your teen leaves home. Wall in Resene Sea Fog, painted headboard feature in Resene Fast Forward, floor in Resene Truffle, message board in Resene Noir, plant pot in Resene Earthen, dresser in Resene Bismark, Resene Permanent Green, Resene Thumbs Up, Resene Alabaster and Resene Truffle. Project by Annick Larkin, image by Melanie Jenkins.

In the master bedroom, my love affair with Resene Duck Egg Blue continues, so I will remain faithful and not replace it. While most of the Resene Putty will go, I plan for it to stay in our lounge where it provides a snug, warm and welcoming ambience. Besides, mustard hues are in vogue, I hear.

My desire to neutralise most of my walls – in a warm white – is not unusual, according to Design on James interior designer Lynnette Lochhead: “About 95 per cent of the empty nesters I know seem to go for the neutral option once the kids have gone. They’ve been there, done that, when it comes to brighter colour.

“They want to make their home a little more sophisticated. Chances are they now have nicer things to put around and it’s really good to have a neutral base to showcase that. It’s time to focus on what the parents like, rather than what the kids like,” Lynnette says.

That same painted feature can find new purpose defining a home office space after your teen takes off. Wall in Resene Sea Fog, colour blocked feature, lipped shelves and desk top in Resene Fast Forward, chair in Resene Clockwork Orange, floor in Resene Truffle, desk organiser in Resene Alabaster, Resene Truffle and Resene Earthen, hook rack in Resene Secrets, plant pots in Resene Quarter Baltic Sea, Resene Moccasin and Resene Soulful. Project by Annick Larkin, image by Melanie Jenkins.

Many people live with the same colours for years, ignoring changing trends and promising themselves an update once the children have left. While certain colours can date your house, Lynnette says it’s the easiest thing to change – and nothing changes a house more than paint.

Her own home went through a colour transformation when her three children left: “Colour can, of course, add character and individuality to kids’ rooms. Our house was a riot of colour from Resene Hippie Green in our son’s bedroom to… you name it. Our dining room was red, then a shade of purple and then mustard. Now it’s Resene Quarter Albescent White, a warm white. One of my daughters had wallpaper that was very pretty and feminine on her bedroom walls. That room is now painted in Resene Blanc.

“Getting rid of those bright colours made our house more serene and restful. Kids’ bedrooms can be very ‘in your face’. I couldn’t wait to paint them all out, make the beds in lovely linen neutrals and add my own accessories while still keeping a few of their things in there,” Lynnette says.

Lots of beautiful warm whites neutralise and add serenity but there are other options, such as soft greys. The smart and contemporary Resene Foggy Grey is an example. Also popular is Resene White Pointer, from half to triple strength, Lynnette says. Resene Quarter Ironsand is another colour that’s appealing, with its mix of smoky warm brown with an undertone of dense grey.

“People are definitely mixing greys with browns,” she says.

Empty nesters’ urge to re-paint may also be about patching up. It’s the time to deal to dents in walls, missing paint patches and cover up scribbles – although those markings recording your children’s heights at different ages are good to retain.

There’s perhaps more time, and inclination, to embrace projects like re-painting furniture. Painting out the browns of certain timber pieces using Karen Walker Chalk Colour paint from Resene is a good way to freshen up and modernise decor.

If your child takes off with their bed, consider replacing it with one with extra storage underneath for storing extra guest items like linens and towels. Wall in Resene Quarter Emerge, floor in Resene Quarter Concrete, bedside table in Resene Fast Forward, screen in Resene Raindance, Resene Liberty and Resene Mystery, bedside lamp in Resene Mystery and vase in Resene Raindance. Project by Vanessa Nouwens, image by Bryce Carleton.

With the children leaving, the urge comes to declutter, reclaim space, re-purpose rooms and re-think furnishings. Suddenly the home can have dedicated guest rooms or rooms may become dual-purpose. It may be time for new furniture so what was once a child’s bedroom becomes an office, or craft room, with a desk and a pull-out couch so it can still provide slumber space.

For some, the emptying nest heralds time to downsize. This involves giving serious thought to furniture and storage space. It’s an ideal time to replace old beds with new ones offering storage underneath, ottomans that double as storage bins or chests that work as coffee tables.

While it can be a sad time for some, don’t lose sight of the fact that children leaving brings new opportunities.

Looking for extra inspiration? Visit your local Resene ColorShop or www.habitatbyresene.co.nz for more colour and paint ideas and inspiration.

This content has been created in partnership with Resene.